Betty Rocker

Adventures in Babysitting: Last Day

No need for me to type Rutabaga... I made it out alive, but then I got strep throat and was down for the  count. I never got to do my follow up.

Okay, so I survived the weekend with a little help from my mom, who has experience taking care of 7 of her own kids. When we worked as a team, it wasn't so bad. I'll tell ya though, it's not easy even with two people. Different ages bring different issues and you have to be quick to know how to address them all.

This was a photo taken during one of our Minivan Adventures. Not pictured are the two dogs.

Bella stood co-pilot.

Me, documenting the fact that I'm driving a minivan for the first time with 2 dogs and 4 kids. Super Nanny!

Baby Joe, who is a year old got into EVERYTHING. It was like having a puppy all over again. I'd turn around and he'd have a cabinet open taking out all the pots and pans. As soon as I'd move him away and turn around for a few seconds, he would open up a drawer and start eating crayons or something. I kept him in a high chair with some Cheerios for the rest of the weekend and everyone was happy.

Then there are the other three older kids. Olivia was really easy. She went to a friends house most of the day, so there wasn't any worry there. I was left with Jack and Mimi No-No, who, frankly were quite the team. She calls him "Brother" like they do on the farm. When one gets hurt, the other one comes to the rescue. I ran into a few feuds with Jack where he  would threaten to "run away and find a new home to live in" and Mimi would scream bloody murder "NO NO Brother, you can't leave us!" Jack was thriving on the attention and would just take his bike farther down the driveway.

My remedy to get him back was to call "Deputy Wigglebaum", someone I made up on the sheer fly-  I was desperate to get the kid back in the house. Mr. Rocker happily answered every phone call and took on the role of Deputy.  It worked because he came wailing back into the house sobbing "But I dooooan wantoo go to Jay-yal"

Betty-one, Jack-zero.

After that I called Deputy Wigglebaum whenever I needed some behavior reinforcements, I remembered that 5 year olds, while smart, are still suckers.

It was a lot of fun taking care of the clan. I say that because I can walk away from it and come and go as I please. What do moms do when they need a friggin break? What do you do when you are sick and can't get out of bed?  I can't imagine. Hats off to all you moms- whether you have one, two or ten, I know it ain't easy and I don't need a weekend of babysitting to say that.

Adventures in Babysitting: Day One.

This weekend, I'm helping watch my sister's kids while she and her husband are in Vegas.

All four of them. All four of them under the age of 6.

And a year-old Lab. I brought The B up for moral support.

I thought I might be in over my head, but it's not so bad. I'm making sure I write that after my first day, so I can follow this up on my last.

Now accepting luck from anywhere.

At the R.E.M. show last night, there was a mom sitting there with her kid. After The National and Modest Mouse finished their set, she leans over and asks Mr. Rock and me if that was the end of the openers and R.E.M. was next. She asked in the kind of way where you knew she thought they stunk and she wasn't enjoying her large-venue concert experience. She complained about the noise a little too so I offered her a set of clean ear plugs.

"No thanks", she says..."I'm not that old yet."

And first of all, this lady WAS old, but second; Why do people associate ear plugs with being old? It's kind  of stupid really. Ear plugs can actually help you HEAR the show better, especially at large venues that have sounds bouncing off all the metal walls. It filters out all that white noise and you can hear the show and it lets you leave the concert without that ringing in your ears that can sometimes last until the next day. Ear plugs at a concert have nothing to do with being old, people. Get over it.

My second concert pet peeve is people that take photos with their cell phones. And we're not talking about high-resolution spy camera phones, we're talkin' the kind you and I carry around- like the Motorolas and the Nokias. And the pictures are taken from the 3rd level of the arena.  If anyone actually knows how to take even mediocre photos that don't show up like a big blob of light, please tell me. Otherwise, I'm not sure why people bother with this.

And last, my final concert tip (and this can apply to any concert). If you want to talk to someone during a set, instead of screaming in their open ear,  have them gently press their ear and speak normally and/or  in a lower octave. Likewise, if someone is talking to you, just plug your ear and have them talk normal. It's a clear reception and you don't have to scream your bloody head off just to have your friend nod, laugh and have NO clue what you are saying anyway. 

Those are my summer concert thoughts and tips for you this month. Try em out and let me know if they work for you.

Birthday Party, Cheesecake, Jellybeans BOOM.

Summer concert season has officially arrived!

Last Friday, we kicked it off with Van Halen at All State Arena. The sound quality was probably the worst I've ever heard, but the funny-looking crowd, David Lee Roth's well yogified/martial-arted torso and of course, the songs made up for it.  Eddie had that smirk on his face the whole time and his teenage kid Wolfgang was on tour with them- I wonder if he's totally jacked about playing with one of rock's great bands or he's wondering WTF he's doing on stage with his old man when he could be playing with My Chemical Romance or something?

Most people I talked to either swear by the School of Diamond Dave or Hagar. It's never both. I think it depends on your age. I grew up with brothers who forced me to watch the "Jump" video over and over again so they could mimic the high kicks in spandex (I WISH I had pictures to show you). But I also had friends in middle school who were introduced to VH by way of Hagar and "Right Now" was a pretty awesome song.  I'm sure y'all could argue back and forth about who's better, but  I'm one of the few who won't choose a side on that one. I'm the Sweden of Van Halen!

This week, we're checking out R.E.M. and I'm getting excited about it because Accelerate is the best thing I've heard out of R.E.M. since maybe Document or Out of Time.  In 6th (or 7th?) grade, I got grounded and couldn't leave my room, so I picked up a notebook and deciphered all the lyrics to every song on Document (because the stupid jerks could never bother singing the lyrics clearly OR include them on the tape artwork) including "It's the End of The World As We Know It" (ITEOTWAWKI). It wasn't a bad attempt for a kid in middle school. My age handicapped me. I had never heard the word "vitriolic" or what it means. I still don't.

Thanks to the internet, it's a big bad game of telephone out there, lyrically speaking. There are so many disjointed versions of ITEOTWAWKI, I wonder if a correct one exists? Go search on your own. I don't want to be responsible for sending you to a page that fills your screen with 100 pop ups. Trust me...All the ones I found were as banged up as my interpretation during "The Grounded Years".  

Song Lyrics

So yeah. Van Halen and R.E.M. are launching me into my Summer. I feel like a kid again. And I feel fine.

Home Improvements.

I've spent the last few weekends working on our landscaping- something I PROMISED myself I wouldn't do this year, but I've found more ground to dig up and more flowers to plant- it's rather addicting, although at the same time, I can't stand doing it. I should be out there enjoying my yard, not working in it.

Or is it the same thing?

It really sucks when you don't have a lot of money to hire professionals to do big projects like landscaping, putting in floors, painting and general home improvement stuff. I guess it's not that I don't have the money, I just can't justify paying someone to do work on my house if there's a way I can do it myself. My thought is- I finished high school and college. I can read a book and learn how to put in a wood floor, right? I may lose a few years and fingernails in the process, but the end result and knowing I built something makes me feel pretty good.

The only thing I would pay top dollar for for someone to do my laundry and I am thinking about getting a cleaning lady at least once a month to suck out all the pet hair of the nooks and crannys. Folding and dusting are not my thing. I didn't like it when my mom made me do it and I am near tears every time I do it now.

What's an adult task that you'd pay top dollar for? Someone to scrape all the dried up egg and cheese out of your pans? A personal meal maker?

Fit to be Fat

Meet my latest self-esteem deflater.

 

In less than 5 minutes, it told me I was "obese" and that my real age, based on balance and body mass index (),  was 43, 10 years older than my real age.

What happened next was worse. My "Mii", which I spent a long time making pretty and svelt, started to balloon up until she almost burst! I nearly started to cry at that point, but I chose laughter instead. Wii Fit was not going to let me live me live in my little fantasy world any longer.

I can take the criticism, but I'm not gunna say I feel good about it I've been a chunker my entire life and I can't figure out why. I'm out walking my dear dog every day, plus I gym it out with spinning and dancing classes. I probably eat too much, but it's all good food. You won't see me eating bags of chips...although a brick of cheese is probably  not a good thing to eat in one sitting.

So back to this Wii Fit thing- It's smart. It's not gunna lie to me, so I've paid about $80 for it to tell me things the bullies in grade school told me during recess. Except it has a cute high-pitched giggle of hope, not a mean snicker.

My Wii Fit trainer is a girl and she kind of freaks me out because her mouth doesn't open when she speaks and her hands move around when they shouldn't, so I'm going to have to get past it and maybe close my eyes when she's talking to me.

My "Fit" goal is to lose 20 pounds in 3 months. So why am I sitting here typing to you guys? Off to make it happen!

Wiiiiiiiiiiiiii!

Worst Birthday Wish EVER.

Thanks for all your birthday wishes. They were a lot better than the one my sister left me on my answering machine:

Hey there, Happy Birthday! I had a dream last night that you died- it was horrible, so I also wanted to call and make sure you were okay. Anyway, hope you have a great day! Love you!

Geeeeee. Thanks Sis.

33.

My 33-year mark hit this morning at 1:00AM. My mom said she went into labor while watching the Miss America pagent.

I took a "What Does Your Birthday Mean?" Quiz on Facebook and this is what it said:

Your birthday means that you are an early morning person.

You like water and water sports, and your best colors are blue and gray. You are artistic and love to express yourself in many different ways. While you tend to be more of an introverted person, that does not mean you sit at home. On the contrary, you have the best ideas when it comes to going places and finding things to do. You are very innovative and excel at creativity.

I highlighted the part in green because that's the ONLY Part that's probably true. I am so far from an early morning person; I stay up past midnight and I haven't seen 6AM awake since I Pugwatched. I'm uncomfortable around water; I nearly drown off the dock of my cabin when I was four and had some other scary near-drownings throughout high school and college (involving canoes, innertubes and a really strong current). Water and I only get along in shower form.

And what's this crap about being introverted? Bah! Hardly.

Poo on the Facebook "What Does Your Birthday Mean?" Quiz.

Off to get a birthday massage and rub these 33 year old muscles into relaxation.

Springy Clean

Today actually looks and feels like Spring!  We can now play the entire XTC Skylarking  CD to officiate its presence.

It is also our town's  "throw anything you want out" day and we took full advantage;  Paint cans, old roofing material, worn out shoes, busted electronics and broken chairs...it's all getting kicked to the curb and my house feels lighter for it.

Our deck above our porch is finally finished too. All we need is a big rain to make sure it doesn't leak again. It doesn't look pretty, but at this point, if it ain't leaking, we don't care.

The next project is actually going to be fun. Making the back porch look pretty for summer so we can chill out and sip fine booze and eat BBQ...

It's beginning to look a lot like Springtime with Summer not far behind...and it feels mighty fine.  Hope to see you real soon to enjoy it.

Here's a picture of my sister and I among the tulip fields in Mount Vernon, Washington. It's like being in Wisconsin, but instead they have rows of Tulips and Wisco just has rows of corn.

I am not an Animal Shelter, but I Play One on My Blog.

Ugh, I've been sick with some kind of virus for the last two or so days. Aside from some residual oogliness in my intestines, I don't have my headache, swollen throat or muscle aches anymore.  I'm heading to out West for a long weekend to visit relatives, so I hope my lower body doesn't pull any "funny business" on the plane or anytime during my travels.

Now, on to some useful information, if you are thinking of getting a dog anytime soon, this might be your calling.  There is a shelter in Indiana that is closing soon and all the dogs need to be adopted out and any remaining will be euthanized.

For any of you that are hesistant to adopt a dog because you don't want to "Adopt someone else's problem", it's time to start re-routing that thought. Shelter dogs aren't in shelters because they have issues- it's usually because their owner had issues or they just got stuck in a bad circumstance. Many of the dogs are perfectly wonderful, just looking for a home and many shelters do tests to make sure the dog you get is a good match- meaning it's good with kids, other dogs and cats. You'll KNOW when you've found the one that's right for you.

And while there's nothing more adorable than a puppy, puppies GROW and (shocker) get big. One thing I like about getting a young dog (4 months to a year) is that you can see just about how big it will end up and you might get a better sense of their personality. 

End of preach. Here's the link if you wanted to take a look at some of these pooches.

When I first wanted to get a dog, my heart was set on getting a puppy from a breeder or a pet store. Because I didn't think about the alternative. And also because I grew up in a town that didn't seem to have a big animal overpopulation problem and it was normal for everyone to go to a breeder or pet store. One step into the Oak Park Animal Care League and I found not  one, but three wonderful animals. And the only issue they came with was that they wanted some TLC...and some Snausages™.